Dreams.

Traveling.

I think it's safe to say that's the thing my absently dreaming brain thinks about the most. Seeing the world, going on adventures, meeting people, photographing what I see along the way. Oh, if I could just leave right now, I wouldn't think again. I'd be gone.

Since this is something I think about a lot, I thought I'd just list what countries, cities, places I want to go to. So here you go: My list of travel dreams. (this could be a long one)

- London
- Manchester
- The English countryside
- Ireland
- Scotland
- Chicago
- New York
- Texas
- Los Angeles
- Alcatraz
- Vienna
- Berlin
- Scandinavia
- Venice
- Rome
- The Acropolis
- Australia
- New Zealand
- The White House
- Hawaï
- Rijksmuseum
- Argentina
- A full on road trip through America
- Canada
- Indonesia
- Antarctica
- Salt Lake City

I don't know what you are supposed to do with this information, but for me it is now nicely put down and kind of slightly out of my head.
I want to travel. A lot. That's what this comes down to.

Wauw, what a great blogpost this is. I'm sorry.

Have a nice life,
Xoxo
Winnie

Website struggles.

So well here I am again, in need to write.

I told you about the online portfolio I was working on ~and super excited about~. Well, I decided I wasn't going to use the website I made there because it constantly shows the 'free website made with Wix' pop up thing and that annoyed me. I don't want to be known as the designer who can't even put up a proper website (even though I literally can't). So I started looking around for other options.

But I quickly walked into the problem that it's pretty fucking hard to build a website.
I also quickly found out that I am not very good at learning myself or just figuring out how it works. I guess I just don't have the patience or something, i don't know. It just won't work and that annoys me. Apparently I'm not able to just make what I want. I just can't put it together and that makes me feel like I'm a total failure.

I'm trying. I really am. But I just can't make it my own and make it pretty. Damnit.

So, I asked a friend (who has some experience with building websites) if she maybe wants to help me and she does. So I now put myself the goal of having an online portfolio up and running before 2015 starts. I would say that should be manageable, right?

Do you have any tips and tricks that could help me? Don't hesitate to let me know. I need them.

Have a nice life,
Xoxo
Winnie.

Confusion.

So, like. Hey, I'm back.
I guess.

I'm sorry. I'm just in the middle of a really weird and confusing time. My internship is almost over and I'm (thank god) almost going back to school. I can't wait. I'm so looking forward to going back to my normal life and not be afraid to give a bad impression to the people at the company thing I work at. Just go back to my usual environment, with the people I know, and the people who know me. Where I can just wear whatever I want and not have to worry weather it's appropriate for the job. Oooooh what a bliss it will be.

Bliss. That's a good song. Let's listen to Origin of Symmetry again. Oh, hear the sound of the piano intro of New Born. What an amazing peace of music this is. Yes. 

Getting back to what I was talking about.
You can maybe understand why my head is in all sorts of places. Or maybe you can't I don't know if it's understandable, really. All I know is that I don't really know what the actual fuck is going on anymore at the moment.
My biggest problem at the moment is my constant doubt about me as a human being. Everything is feeling wrong. I feel like I'm a pretty annoying person. I don't know how my friends keep up with me. I feel bad for my colleges, who are forced to work with me. I feel like I don't do them justice or something. Does that make sense? Like I'm a really bad friend. I just don't know what to say most of the time. Not when they are happy about something, not when they feel bad about something. I try to say things to maybe make them feel a bit better but afterwords regretting that and feeling like I said the complete wrong thing and that now they will hate me. Like I feel they originally do. Like, why would you even like me? I'm not a fun person to hang out with. I will just stop all the conversation on you. It happens way too many times that I feel like I'm too tired to even talk or be nice to someone. Wow that's not very good. Can't say it's one of my favorite things about myself.
The problem is, I don't know how to change it. At least now I don't. I'm hoping that once I get back to school, once I'm around my friends every day of the week again, I will figure something out. Because I don't really want my friends to have to be dealing with someone like me.

There were good things that happened lately as well, though. It was my 18th birthday, at which I had an amazing time out for dinner and afterwards for drinks with my friends. I had a blast. Never want to forget that day.
I went to the Tefaf with my mum. This is a big art exhibition, originally meant for selling art but very very interesting for an Art&Design student. They had Damien Hirst. I saw my first Damien Hirst artworks. I was so happy. I had (as my mum likes to call it) 'a Jonas Brothers moment'. I was SO extremely excited to be there. I was shaking. I would almost say butterflies in my stomach. As you can imagine, taking good pictures was kind of hard with shaking hands, but at least I saw it. And it was amazing. And I only want to see more. Damien Hirst exhibition, where you at?! (If you happen to be reading this, I very wouldn't minde Relics to come to somewhere near the Netherlands. Thank you in advance.)
Lastly I went to a little exhibiotion of a dutch Graphic designer, Boy Bastiaens. It was very interesting. I really liked his designs. I was in LOVE with the designs he made for the K. Karl Lagerfeld collection. Really amazing.

I just kind of moaned when I heard the first notes of Bliss. Fun fact for you there. Music gets to me way too much. Oops.

My DBTC has been going, well, in a way, good. Yes, in a way. I did miss one week (sorry don't hurt me I hate it so much) but now I'm back on track and I know what I'm doing. When I went to the Tefaf, I saw some pretty interesting things that showed me how I should áctually doing this, so I've taken that to heart and went on a completely different road. Maybe I'll show you some when I feel like it.

Ok. I'm very sorry about this. I will stop now, since this has become way too long.
I'm also very sorry if none of this makes any sense. I just needed to get this off off my chest. Just needed to write. So here we go. Thanks for reading, if you got this far.
If you did, I love you.

Have a nice life,
Xoxo
Winnie.

Music addict.

Hiyaaa, I'm back. And here is my music post.

I have had a few interesting musical finds in the last 2 months. A few new addictions. And I am loving it. Let's get this show on the road.

Firstly, I became addicted to the album 'Vultures' by Dutch band Kensington. A great rockband with a singer who has a really nice raspy voice, which gives the music just this little extra thing. Loving that. Played the album almost non-stop. Amazing. Until one faithful sunday.
I heard a song by Panic! at the Disco in one of Dan and Phil's BBC radio1 shows and I thought 'oh that's quite nice, I should have a listen to what music they make'. So I did. And it was life changing. That's maybe a bit overreacted, but a new addiction was born. Oh my god they are amazing. How did I not find this before? I found my favorite albums are 'Too weird to live, to rare to die!' and 'Vices & Virtues'. Been listening to them a lot. Over 500 plays in less then 3 weeks. I'm proud. I am.
My third addiction has been Chef'Special. They are another Dutch band. They make really fun and funky ska-ish music. Really mellow and just fun. I already didn't dislike the music they made and when I heard they brought out a new album, I thought it would be a good idea to give 'Passing Through' a little listen. And yes. It was indeed a very good idea. Good for every moment of the day. Amazing.

So there you have a little catch-up on my music playlists lately. It's so nice to find new music and get completely addicted. I love that feeling. Almost playing nothing else, until you find something new to obsess over. But they always stay in my playlists, I can never get rid of them. Music is amazing.

Aside of music, I turned 18 last week! I kind of wanted to have my online portfolio up by that time, but there are a few things I not so certain of, just yet so just sit tight for a little longer. It is coming! I can assure you that! So keep an eye on this blog and I will tell you as soon as it's up.

I'm going to leave you with that. I hope I gave you some new interesting stuff to give a listen, if you have tips for me, please let me know! I would love to hear! I'll leave a link to the albums on spotify down here, so you can find them!

Have a nice life,
Xoxo
Winnie.

Kensington - Vultures.

Panic! at the Disco - Too weird to live, too rare to die!

Panic! at the Disco - Vices & Virtues.

Chef'Special - Passing Through.

Lacking.

Well hello there,

I'm lacking. I know. And I'm sorry. But let me explain.

Last week I didn't do my regular Don't break the chain post. Partly because I am on internship at the moment, which means working days from 9 'till 5, but also because I was a bit reluctant to share this page with the world. I know I said I would share everything, even if I wasn't 100% happy with how it turned out, but when thinking about it, I realized I didn't really have anything new to say. I practiced shading some more. I used the same technique I used the week before, because I want to make sure I can actually do it. So putting up a DBTC post would be just the pictures. Nothing more. And I feel like I don't really need to do that. I can also just write a normal blog post, in which I also address what I did this week.
Don't worry, though, the weeks I do something new or noticeable, I will ~of course~ put it up and explain what I did and where I found the inspiration. That is what this all is about. Sharing the new things I learn. But I feel like it's unnecessary to also put up all the practicing that comes with it. So I won't. From now on.

So, this means:
No more weekly DBTC. Only when I actually have something important or interesting to tell/show you.
But, I will be writing normal blog posts. To keep you up to date on what's happening in the rest of my life.

For example, I'm now walking around with a pair of glasses on my face. This is new. And I'm loving it. Headaches have decreased and lines are actually lines now. They are completely focussed and it's amazing. So that happened.

I'm going to leave it to this. I don't want to make it too long. I just wanted to explain what was going on and tell you about the slight change I'm bringing to my blog-posting. Don't expect a DBTC post this week, either, btw. More practicing, nothing new.

So,
Have a nice life,
Xoxo
Winnie.

BTW. Expect a new musical blogpost in the ~very near~ future. I found some new things, I have some new obsessions. So look forward to that!

What is all this about? Go to this blogpost and you can read all about the project I've started for this year!

Shade. | DBTC 4

*WEEK4*

A celebration of music.

This week, tuesday to be exact, my Last.fm account turned 1. Time for a relay of this musical year.